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原文吃光光. 在國外當學一開始遇到的問題就是[寂寞], 家人朋友不在身邊, 人又人生地不熟, 自己的 時間反而變多了. 時間變多, 腦袋反而有更多空間想事情, 想家人想朋友或是像原po一樣 想男友. 原po的文整個內容都是圍繞著"男友", 所以我第一個建議妳也應該建立起妳自己 的社交圈. 人是群居的動物, 即使在國外也一樣. 要交當地的朋友, 也要交國際的朋友, 要認識那塊土地, 歷史, 文化. 這個一定會把妳的時間更加填滿充實, 和男友沒有話聊 的問題希望能從此解決. 要對話之前, 要先有故事, 妳得去發掘妳的故事和男友分享. 下一個目標:[對話]. 人跟人之間就是不斷的對話. 遠距離的戀愛難就難在對話的困難. 面對面的對話是最有效的溝通方式, 因為話不只是聲音, 還有肢體語言, 表情, 等等. 見面很難的情況, 我能提出的建議是多用"Skype". 雖然比不上面對面的談話, 但視訊 多多少少可以彌補一些. 還有, 對話的時間長短不太重要, 品質高低才是重點. 第三:[尊重]. 尊重是互相的. 很明顯你們兩個人的界限不一樣. 你們應該要好好談談 互相之間的界限, 找到一個平衡點, 然後互相遵守遊戲規則. 當男女朋友時不按規矩, 當夫妻大概也不會了. 第四:[不安全感]. 每個人對男女朋友的異性交友界限不一樣, 每個人的不安全感也 不一樣. 不安全感是個很抽象的東西, 舉個例子...稍微扯遠一點點. 我有個美國室友 平常看起來好好的, 六尺二, 一百八十磅以上, 不過太陽一下山, 我公寓的窗簾每天定時 放下來. 因為他不想讓外面的人看進來. 笑他還會生氣. 不過因為知道他曾經在治安不好 的南非住過, 這種行為也可以理解. 所以回到第二點, 我如果沒有聽過他的南非故事, 我就沒有辦法尊重他的不安全感. 所以一切回到對話. 思考如何和妳的男友對話. I hope it helps and make sense. It's getting tougher and tougher for me to think and type in Chinese. I wish all the best in your relationship. All I Do Is Wen -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 24.98.98.97
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